I Survived! … This Round (Surviving the Holidays, pt. 4)

New year, new you?

I don’t think New Year’s resolutions are a good idea. When making goals to change for the better, one ought to have an end date in mind…not a start date. If you’re serious about changing something, you start then and there. You don’t wait for the start of a new year.

Plus, as you watch your friends and coworkers start then fail all around you, you’ll start doubting yourself, too. Start NOW with an end date in mind; not the other way around.

What I need to change

I swear. A lot. Like a drunken Irish sailor. I’m an intelligent, educated individual who only makes to demean herself when I talk like I’m trash. I need to stop, for many reasons. The most obvious of these it’s that my toddler says, “Shit,” whenever she drops something; the least obvious to everyone else is the damage to my soul.

I mean that literally. I take the Lord’s name in vain frequently and colorfully. It needs to stop before I spend eternity burning in Hell because of something I’ve got complete control over. I’m the one who made it a habit, and I’m the one who must break it.

Getting to the point

I do not make New Year’s resolutions. If I did, I would have failed before breakfast on January 1st. I must gradually build up to the end of my swearing, and I need a date in mind to accomplish this by.

I firmly believe that in order for one to accomplish her goals, she needs clear steps and deadlines as well as the most support she can gather.

You really want to change? Tell everyone: your spouse, your friends, your coworkers, everyone. You don’t have to ask them to hold you accountable; they don’t ever need to say or do anything. Just you knowing they know you have a goal will be enough for your subconscious to kick your conscious self when you step out of line.

Of course, it is helpful if everyone you tell does say or do something to keep you in check. It would be nice for me if every time I say a curse word, I’m given a look. Not a verbal warning, though, because that would just piss me off.

The root

Maybe instead of attempting to change the problem behavior, I first should look at the root of it. I have a bit of a temper and almost no patience. My anger-managing skills are severely lacking. The root of my swearing is in part the habit I’ve developed but mainly in how I deal with stressors in my life.

Well, isn’t this cathartic

I applaud you for recognizing where in your life you need to change, whether it be your diet or marriage or career. Set a date by which to achieve your goals rather than a date you’ll start working towards them. You’re more likely to get to your destination that way.

Might I recommend a book? The Path by Laurie Beth Jones was a not just a helpful guide for me but also a major eye-opener. You don’t have to be religious or even a believer in anything (although Jones is strong in her faith and wrote Jesus, CEO) for this book to help you take steps on your own path to knowing yourself, setting goals, and achieving a better and more focused life.

I might need to reread The Path soon. Or at least review my notes. If I’m not focused on my path, then I’m not working towards my goals, which leads to a lack of patience and understanding with myself and those I love, taking me back to my old, nasty habits of bringing me down… And cussing like a drunken Irish sailor as I fall.

Note: No disrespect intended towards the Irish nor any sailors. But drunks don’t deserve respect… They swear too much. 😉

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