Deeply personal stuff here, folks.
This is part of a letter I once wrote to the person who has done the most harm to me. She destroyed my life… because I let her. I let her sickness twist me. I lashed out, and I was so far from being a good Christian that day.
Since then, I have seen more evil from that woman. I clearly haven’t stopped letting her behaviors twist me. Each time it starts to overwhelm my thoughts, I ask the Holy Spirit to fill me and her. I ask that she be brought back to the light. Each time, I reflect on the verses in my letter to her.
To her, directly, I wrote these words:
As I lay here, sleepless though exhausted, I know I can write out a better apology than I could ever speak. Please read my words and feel my sincerity.
When I’m upset, my words come out wrong. I am sinful and allow anger and cursing to rule me. I lash out and do wrong. I am Ephesians 4:31, “Get rid of your bitterness, hot tempers, anger, loud quarreling, cursing, and hatred.”
I am sorry. I was wrong. I said hurtful, hateful things that I cannot take back but wish I could and pray I’ll never say or think again. Psalm 51:3, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.”
Please forgive me. Romans 14:19, “Therefore, let’s keep on pursuing those things that bring peace and that lead to building up one another.” I believe that both of us need this now more than ever as we feel so isolated and ignored. So much damage has been done around us and because of us, so please recognize how we both must embrace Proverbs 14:9, “Fools make fun of guilt, but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation.”
Because, like was said at James 5:16, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”
Please, let us seek peace between us for ourselves as well as our family. Please, don’t shut me out. Please, stop with the hurtful words, the ones you are spewing in the ears of our loved ones, who have joined you in your efforts to tear me down. Remember those things which the Lord hates:
a lying tongue,
hands that kill innocents
a heart that plots evil,
feet that are quick to rush into hate,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the family.