Tag Archives: truth

Vehicular Therapy

Something new to me is the peace that comes from the solitude found during a morning commute.

Before kids, I would wake at the last possible minute before dashing through my morning routine and flying out the door and down the road to work.

Four years as a SAHM meant no silence in the car, never a true chance to let my thoughts flow and truly listen to what my body and mind were telling me.

Sure, there were times when I could do some introspection, which lead to one of my best posts of all time.

Sure, I could listen to my audiobooks while the kids entertained themselves in the backseat.

Yes, there were chances to talk with other adults on the phone while I drove.

But to truly seek yourself every morning takes either discipline or forced solitude.  Like my morning commute.

Eight Weeks of Intensive Therapy

I have been at my “new” job for a little over two months.  Since we live in the middle of nowhere, I have a minimum of 35 minutes in the car each morning.

I’ve been training myself to select the day’s outfit and pack my lunch the night before plus set my alarm to give me plenty of time to bathe, dress, paint and coif, eat, and possibly care for a small child that woke too soon.  Most mornings, I am beyond blessed to get out the door without the kids waking and seeing me off.

Any parent who has walked away from a crying child with the guilt of “I’m putting my paycheck before you, little one” knows what it means to leave before they’re even awake.

I take my time because I’ve gifted myself that time.  I climb into my little four-door, four-cylinder car, pull out of the driveway, and get my mind into the zone.  No music or audio books.  No rush where I have anger or panic to focus on.  No one in the car to watch me as I silently run through a gamut of emotions because I’m mentally pulling apart the past few years of my life.

Or, some days, my whole life.

I spend roughly 30 minutes every morning picking through my experiences, thoughts, and emotions like I’m untangling a knot of metal chains that have rusted together.

I practice deep breathing and different levels of prayer and meditation.

I am working on picking myself back up, one mile at a time.

Underrated

One day, taking a long lunch away from my desk and picking up a dear friend from her nearby work, I confessed to her what I had been doing.  It was pouring rain and we had a slightly rushed lunch in a loud, packed Panera.  As we sat in her work’s parking lot, I told her that I had been working through some of my issues during my morning commutes.

She nodded emphatically.  She said she knew what I was talking about, knew how critical that alone time is for her in her busy life.  She agreed with me that vehicular therapy is underrated.

That is why I’m sharing it with you.  You need to know this.  You, who get up in the morning (or evening) to go to work, to spend time away from family and home and friends and an ever-growing to-do list; you, who find yourself wound up and bent out of shape before you make it to your lunch break; you, who wonders what more is there to life or if there’s something wrong with you or why can’t I find the perfect job, perfect car, perfect friend, perfect lover.

You, my dear reader, need to know what a blessing your commute time is.  This is your chance to truly be by yourself and look narrow and deep or wide and shallow at your life, your behaviors, your future.

Embrace your vehicular therapy time.

Personally

I’m working through a year’s worth of grief.  I’m working through a lifetime of pain cause by my mother and almost a decade of issues with my mother-in-law.  I’m working through the drama and bullshit that came about after a lying liar lied about me…and was believed.  I’m working through long-term goals and what my hang ups are.  I’m working through marital issues, mommy guilt, crises in faith, and so much more.

I recommend you do the same.

Because I feel more on the level now than I have in a very long time, even though to an outsider it may look like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.

Personally, I will tell everyone I encounter about the joys and blessings that come from 30 minutes of silent introspection at least 5 days a week.

Thoughtful Thursday: The Truth about Liars

Being untruthful hurts the speaker more than we realize, especially when we are lying about another person.  Where we think we are harming the person the lie is about, the truth is that we are placing ourselves in a position we will not be able to get out of.
We corner ourselves with our untruths, both in this life and on Judgment Day.

But we know that.  What we don’t recognize is the truth about liars that makes their lies so hurtful.

Their Co-conspirators

It isn’t the person being lied about who suffers the most.  It isn’t the liar who suffers the most.  It is the people who either believed those lies and helped spread them or knew what was untrue and did nothing to stop it.

The co-conspirators suffer the most damage.

The individual who chooses to accept gossip or a rumor to be a truth, or who chooses not to quash the lie swiftly, is worse than the liar.

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.  But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.
-Matthew 12:35-37

From the Bible

We have received guidance for how we are to react to lies and deceit.  We have been told that there are ramifications for our willingness to listen and repeat lies without taking the time to discover if they are true just as we have been shown what will become of those who stand aside and do nothing in the face of dishonesty and destructive words.

For instance:

  • Your heard that lie, you knew it to be a lie, and you did nothing. You let those words tear down a person you know, a person who called you a friend.  You listened to the liar but turned a deaf ear to those who welcomed you into their home.  You said nothing to the liar when he bombastically proclaimed ridiculous things to the crowd.  You chose to give no reaction as he waved his “proof” in the air.  You listened to him, and even if you didn’t repeat him, you supported him in your non-action.
  • You who repeated it, though…. You who chose to believe something so unbelievable and accepted your role as a co-conspirator to spread the lies.  You helped her repeat it again and again until it became a truth in your mind, until you could live with what you had done and not done.  She said such hurtful, ugly, and downright unbelievable things, but you were so mad you embraced the lies.  It was a conscious choice to believe the worst of things.

By Your Words You Will Be Acquitted

Choose truth. Choose justice. Choose the righteous path and you will be acquitted. Standing with the liars, or not standing against them, is how you will find yourself condemned. 

Find those you’ve hurt and apologize. Respond to those speaking untruths with the truth. Whatever your reason for being a co-conspirator, end it now.

I, too, need to end the cycle. I don’t want to carry the anger any more than I want to be subjected to the pain.  I do want to forgive and release the ill will.  I get so tired of the destructive nature of lies worming its way through daily life.

I will read this verse time and again to remind myself that my words do matter; whether I keep them as bottled up thoughts or share my angst, God is listening and I am being affected by my words as well as the lies told by others.

A Good Man Brings Good Things

It is never “just talk”; if it can hurt someone, do not say it.  If it doesn’t help anyone, if it doesn’t teach anyone, if it doesn’t solve anything, do not say it.

Is-it-True--800x671

Words can be weapons or they can be tools used to build.

If you say it, make sure it is building something beautiful.